Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Chinese Biotech Showcases Challenger to Eli Lilly’s Obesity Drug - Bloomberg.com

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Why do flat-earthers claim the 1967 photo of Earth from space was made with CGI, even though CGI didn't exist back then?

I understand how hurricane paths work

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Confirmed: Breakfast Cereals Are Getting Sweeter And Less Nutritious - ScienceAlert

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why do women stubbornly refuse to let men lead, even though they are attracted to the man, and the man both loves and desires them? Why do they get angry and blame the man when he gets fed up and walks away, when it's entirely their own fault?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Costco's New Food Court Item Has Customers Divided: 'It's Offensive' - Delish

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I see through liars

Inside J.J. Spaun's Arizona Home as He Claims Surprising U.S. Open Win - Realtor.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Isn't it unfortunate for the Democrats that we Republicans are the masters of the universe who control everything while the Democrats control nothing?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What to know about the 2025 U.S. Open, from tee times to TV schedule - The Washington Post

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

New Apple study challenges whether AI models truly “reason” through problems - Ars Technica

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy bullshit

The Pacers are in the NBA Finals. The Fever have Caitlin Clark. In Indy, basketball is booming - AP News

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is your craziest/worst Halloween story?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If a non-LGBT man (of any age) from a Western country attracts far more mosquitoes than potential dates, what does that say about him?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I can read

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?